Ah! the palpability of brand new beginnings. Being handed a fresh new slate and with it an array of infinite possibilities is tantalizing. Perhaps that’s the reason why the new year is considered the perfect time to make resolutions, commit ourselves to the goals that have been eluding us. Getting more disciplined spending ourselves while also letting ourselves loose to pursue our joys more uninhibitedly. And yet, how many of us actually manage to pull through the year and stick to those resolutions? Resolutions are meant to be broken for most of us!
That’s the reason I don’t believe in making resolutions for the new year. I had stopped doing so when observing my greatest teachers - my students, as young as five years! Ever observed a five-year old engrossed in play? Or a ten year old lost in thought while trying to absorb the details of the lecture that just concluded? Or a fourteen year old come up to you and argue about what she didn’t think was right about an issue?
Children don’t need resolutions; they don’t even understand them. Each day is a fresh slate to be their unbridled self. Yes, what is important is channelising their energy in a disciplined manner. Parents often ask me how to discipline their kids - make them read more, exercise more, eat healthy, study more focusedly, value and respect relationships. I tell them what I tell my teachers, and that which gets a little difficult to digest: Children learn best by example.
A case in point is the Aamir-starrer Dangal, a real-life story of how a wrestler grooms and trains his daughters to combat their perceived weaknesses and turn it into strengths. His children initially resist the changes forced upon them as expected but themselves embrace the rigid schedule and training once the intent and commitment of the parent shines through. So, let that light shine through. It isn’t easy to contain it. It is bound to radiate and infiltrate across you. Children are the first to pick up and emulate behaviour of the ones they look upto. From toddlers to teens it is always parents and teachers before it becomes peers. So, the initial years are crucial in entrenching their character, which is formed by habits.
And we wouldn’t need resolutions if every day we would just resolve to be true to ourselves and commit to treat ourselves with highest regard and love. The habits will just then flow through and so will the will power. So, in effect that is all that needs to be demonstrated to children as well. In fact it is us who need to learn from them - to get in touch with the inner child. Just doing that needs to be done. Still wondering how to make that resolution and stick to them on a daily basis? Here’s what I have borrowed from a 5-year old -
- Embrace the moment - Be present in the moment. Accomplishments will be a source of joy not a task.
- Be selfish - Fill yourself with so much love it flows through. Will and intent will follow.
- Honesty - To thine ownself be true. Understand why something is working or not. Take baby steps.
- Fall and Rise - You are likely to fall. Dust yourself, stand up again sporting an impish smile
- Repeat - Something didn’t work? Retrace/Rinse/Recycle but don’t Retreat!
Finally, the ultimate responsibility is toward oneself! The best teachers, best school or supportive family will not amount to much if the will to learn and challenge oneself constantly is absent!
