When Blues Spark Red

A 17 year-old boy from Haryana committed suicide a couple of days back. What makes this terrifying is that he is the latest victim of the ‘blue whale challenge’, an online suicide game started in Russia 4 years ago. It is indeed worrying that what there have already been more than a handful cases that have emerged from India alone since it was first reported in July.

What makes it dangerous is that, it seems to have caught on to the insecurities and trappings of a young mind to send it on to a self-destructive path, worldwide. In Russia, a teenage pleaded guilty to driving at least 16 teenage girls to suicide by psychologically manipulating them. He showed no remorse whatsoever and believed that his victims were a ‘biological waste’ and he was helping in cleansing society!

The challenge seeks young and vulnerable minds through social media and targets them over a period of over 1-2 months. It demands players complete 50 tasks in 50 days. It starts with easy tasks such as waking up at odd hours, watching horror movies, drawing a whale on a paper and then carving it with a blade on the skin, cutting one’s lips. Every task is to be filmed for proof. It makes it difficult for the child to leave the game halfway by threatening to harm the relatives or using any other information obtained about the victim. The final task is to take their own lives. The term Blue whale comes from beached whales which is linked to suicide. Reportedly the game has taken over 100 lives worldwide.

Impressionable minds especially between 13-17 years are most susceptible. The game targets lonely children and children with social anxiety disorders, sociophobia or any depressive tendencies. They  often fail to see difference between reality and illusion and take these risks. While it is impossible to keep children away from internet and mobiles these days, it is very possible to know what they are up to and hence there are a number of steps that can be taken -

1.       Monitor children’s activity carefully on social media platforms. The kind of information children get online is vast. Parents should take baby steps while letting children use online media. This should be developmentally appropriate. They must keep their own devices password protected so kids don’t access any inappropriate content unknowingly. Monitor child’s social media behaviour. Is he spending more time online or on the mobile?  Is it impacting day to day functioning of the child. Internet usage of more than 4-5 hours is considered excessive.

2.       Parents should check on the children and their tendency to self harm. Depressed people might not seem depressed but may seem awkward or abnormally cheerful. The game cuts the victim further through the tasks. Is he more withdrawn or remarkably quiet? One of the tasks is to cut oneself off from everyone or Don’t talk to anyone whole day. Or wake up rather early at 4.30 am to wear them and break them. Maintaining Strong communication channels are extremely important, both at home and school.

3.       Perhaps the biggest challenge is that kids understand technology more than most adults in the country. But, even then there are couple of good softwares that help in keeping track of every activity of the child. Even at the wifi/router level, parents get an IT person to enable firewall and block certain words like ble whale, suicide, and other keywords. Here it is important to know the keywords cause there are several. It will do good for schools and parents to come together and help stay abreast of such trends as lives get more virtualised.

Each child device should be secure with comprehensive security product. One must monitor child online habits and give phased access to online media. It is impossible to ignore the pervasiveness of the technology and instead encourage them to use it to advantage. Probably, we need to fight adverse effects of technology with the benefits of technology: Fight the Evil with the Good.

The Devil is in the Details

The Devil is in the Details

The gruesome murder of the seven-year-old boy, Pradyuman in a reputed Gurgaon school has shocked the nation. My thoughts immediately went to the parents – the ones who entrusted their little one with the school. It’s their biggest loss, an unimaginable one. What words of comfort can anyone provide them? All they aspired was to send their child to a good, reputed English school. Child safety in schools, alarmingly, has turned out to be a contentious issue.

‘If our schools aren’t safe for children then where can we expect them to be safe?’, echoed thousands of citizens of the country. Rightly so. As a principal and as a parent first, I shudder to think of the plight of the parents and family members of the child. Even his friends, studying with him in school and neighbourhood. Children were traumatised and refused to go to school and parents too were too shaken. Sending children to school doesn’t just seem like another routine task. In fact, the psychological consequences were such that even in other cities parents grew anxious.

We know that misfortune, accidents can happen anytime, sometimes even when we take the best possible measures to do so. But, we need to do that. Put in best efforts and resources to ensure that the safety of children aren’t compromised.  In the particular instance, the management and school authorities blatantly overlooked several loopholes. It was a disaster waiting to happen. And yet, all of us have a lesson from this.

a.       The parents need to undertake thorough research about the school, even if it seems flashy or decorative from the outside. Small instances can convey a lot when it comes to the ethics and integrity of the management of the school. This is very important. Often, it is only after an unfortunate incident has transpired that people get together. Parents need to be actively engaged and involved in the student’s activities and understand his/her daily routine or any incident that stood out in particular. Keep the channels of communication open. Teach students to be more aware, and report the smallest instances that didn’t seem right to them. And when they do talk, LISTEN.

b.       For school and support staff, no place can be perfect but working for a management that clearly is not performing its duties thoroughly or ethically, is possibly the worst environment to work in. The devil is in the details. Often, it is an unhealthy culture that is all pervasive and it is the top – down approach. There is nothing as precious as reputation and inevitably anyone’s career could depend on it! Often, most things are dependent on the resources provided to you and this is where the credibility of the management comes into play. However, if one was doing one’s job conscientiously and properly, it would be impossible to ignore some big warning signs. In such cases one becomes equally complicit.

c.       The role of the school management is undoubtedly the most critical. For, it is here, where the control really lies. The culture, ethos, ethics everything flows from this place to across the organisation. Granted that accidents happen even after taking the best of precautions. However, one cannot discount the fact the responsibility that comes with running an institution. It is a difficult thing to come out and accept that someone screwed up but what needs to be done, needs to be done. It takes courage and grit to still follow the right path when you know that you can get away with possibly anything in this country with a few calls to a few ‘right’ people. With the use of technology now security can be beefed extraordinarily to report even a single instance of breach, so it makes sense to invest in such technologies.

d.       Lastly, the state governments and government should look at setting up stringent laws in place for setting up of institutions be it preschools, schools, colleges. A myriad of ‘international’ schools have sprouted in the country and parents often don’t know the value for what they are paying – often through their teeth. Most of the institutions are funded by politicians unfortunately and rules are flouted regularly.

In all probability such cases would keep getting reported. However, what is important is our reaction to tackle it and proactiveness to avoid it. Media can be a great amplifier to garner support of public and to make people aware. But it should sensitively portray an accurate picture without sensationalising the case – someone has lost their child! We also need to ask ourselves that apart from really watching the gory details of the murder how is it that we can help to avoid such in the future. Let us all be vigilant and be present in each moment. Be aware.