The Devil is in the Details

The Devil is in the Details

The gruesome murder of the seven-year-old boy, Pradyuman in a reputed Gurgaon school has shocked the nation. My thoughts immediately went to the parents – the ones who entrusted their little one with the school. It’s their biggest loss, an unimaginable one. What words of comfort can anyone provide them? All they aspired was to send their child to a good, reputed English school. Child safety in schools, alarmingly, has turned out to be a contentious issue.

‘If our schools aren’t safe for children then where can we expect them to be safe?’, echoed thousands of citizens of the country. Rightly so. As a principal and as a parent first, I shudder to think of the plight of the parents and family members of the child. Even his friends, studying with him in school and neighbourhood. Children were traumatised and refused to go to school and parents too were too shaken. Sending children to school doesn’t just seem like another routine task. In fact, the psychological consequences were such that even in other cities parents grew anxious.

We know that misfortune, accidents can happen anytime, sometimes even when we take the best possible measures to do so. But, we need to do that. Put in best efforts and resources to ensure that the safety of children aren’t compromised.  In the particular instance, the management and school authorities blatantly overlooked several loopholes. It was a disaster waiting to happen. And yet, all of us have a lesson from this.

a.       The parents need to undertake thorough research about the school, even if it seems flashy or decorative from the outside. Small instances can convey a lot when it comes to the ethics and integrity of the management of the school. This is very important. Often, it is only after an unfortunate incident has transpired that people get together. Parents need to be actively engaged and involved in the student’s activities and understand his/her daily routine or any incident that stood out in particular. Keep the channels of communication open. Teach students to be more aware, and report the smallest instances that didn’t seem right to them. And when they do talk, LISTEN.

b.       For school and support staff, no place can be perfect but working for a management that clearly is not performing its duties thoroughly or ethically, is possibly the worst environment to work in. The devil is in the details. Often, it is an unhealthy culture that is all pervasive and it is the top – down approach. There is nothing as precious as reputation and inevitably anyone’s career could depend on it! Often, most things are dependent on the resources provided to you and this is where the credibility of the management comes into play. However, if one was doing one’s job conscientiously and properly, it would be impossible to ignore some big warning signs. In such cases one becomes equally complicit.

c.       The role of the school management is undoubtedly the most critical. For, it is here, where the control really lies. The culture, ethos, ethics everything flows from this place to across the organisation. Granted that accidents happen even after taking the best of precautions. However, one cannot discount the fact the responsibility that comes with running an institution. It is a difficult thing to come out and accept that someone screwed up but what needs to be done, needs to be done. It takes courage and grit to still follow the right path when you know that you can get away with possibly anything in this country with a few calls to a few ‘right’ people. With the use of technology now security can be beefed extraordinarily to report even a single instance of breach, so it makes sense to invest in such technologies.

d.       Lastly, the state governments and government should look at setting up stringent laws in place for setting up of institutions be it preschools, schools, colleges. A myriad of ‘international’ schools have sprouted in the country and parents often don’t know the value for what they are paying – often through their teeth. Most of the institutions are funded by politicians unfortunately and rules are flouted regularly.

In all probability such cases would keep getting reported. However, what is important is our reaction to tackle it and proactiveness to avoid it. Media can be a great amplifier to garner support of public and to make people aware. But it should sensitively portray an accurate picture without sensationalising the case – someone has lost their child! We also need to ask ourselves that apart from really watching the gory details of the murder how is it that we can help to avoid such in the future. Let us all be vigilant and be present in each moment. Be aware.

Child Abuse - Thriving at the wrong end of the stick!

The recent rape of a six-year-old schoolgirl in a reputed Bangalore school jolted the nation’s conscience. Even as a national outrage ensued, several shocking incidents of child abuse were reported across the country. Crimes against children are indeed reaching alarming proportions. The National Crime Records Bureau reported a total of 58,224 crimes against children, up 52 percent from last year and a whopping rise by 133 percent over 2009! And these are just what have been reported. A government report in 2007 highlighted 53 percent children have faced one or more forms of sexual abuse. It is a fact that most cases go unreported for the fear of social stigma, an inept bureaucracy and judicial system.

The Bangalore incident is outrageous more so since a child was abused within the vicinity which was supposed to protect and nurture her!  The management’s callous and unscrupulous approach of allegedly covering up the crime and destroying evidence is despicable. It highlights the need for parents to understand the core values of the school vis-à-vis the projected glamour in its sales pitch or brochures. It also emphasises the pertinent need for doing a thorough background and criminal record check when inducting school faculty and for providing regular counselling to school staff. 

Technically, it 's a wake-up call to schools all over the country particularly the government since most government schools are without functional toilets, boundary walls and any basic security! According to a 2012 survey by a children’s foundation, only 10 per cent schools had a child protection policy. Even though the Protection of Children from Sexual Offences (POSCO) Act came into effect in 2012, a meagre number of schools have complied.

While child abuse is yet another eventuality of lack of stringent punitive measures, a crippled social/economic environment and an apathetic bureaucracy, one of the most inadvertent causes is the society itself. It stems from the recesses of a society’s darkest alleys and personnel from schools as other professionals are of course an extension of it. Could WE have a role in the thriving of this evil? Let’s reflect. How do we treat a child? How seriously do we listen to a little voice? Do we encourage children to speak up? 

Even in education, far too much emphasis has been given to respect teachers rather than respect oneself first; on being obedient rather than take initiatives or lead or learning to state differences of opinion; on inducing discipline at all costs! Are we treating our children with the respect they deserve so they know the difference when they are being treated otherwise and are confident to oppose it? Spine-chilling visuals of a three-year-old being brutally beaten and kicked around by his tutor and that of a visually impaired child being beaten by his teachers speak of a deeply embedded issue.

The issue highlights a critical miss of the Indian society which believes that discipline and corporal punishment go hand-in-hand. How can respect be derived from children when it is withdrawn from them?  What good does locking a child in a dark room serve? A school’s perspective when it comes to protecting or disciplining a child speaks volumes of its commitment to preserve and respect the sanctity of a child’s being. 

Positive disciplinary techniques can be used to assist children acquire correct behaviour without the fear of violence. However, most teachers aren’t equipped or are too understaffed to handle so many kids. Patience wears thin; unsurprisingly, the very first casualty is the confidence of the child! Unfortunately, abusers prey on such timid and battered spirits.        

A floundered parent community in Bangalore was quoted describing the sports instructor who raped the six-year old - “He looked normal”, “He is married”, “His wife is pregnant”, etc. These are stereotypical assumptions we keep encountering in our campaign against child abuse which we initiated years back. Child abuse rattles us and we can’t believe that humans can assuage the role of monsters with such ease but the fact is that there is no ‘type’ or an abuser profile. For certainty though, they thrive on silence. A child’s!

‘Chuppi todo’ or ‘Break the silence’ is a crucial activity we undertake by sensitising children, as young as two years, to ‘good and bad touch’. But undoubtedly, the most important aspect is the trust a child shares with the parent which enables her to be herself, stand for her beliefs, speak up loudly and be confident she will be listened to. ‘Disciplining’ shouldn’t be at the cost of breaking that sacred bond. 

Every child is worthy of our absolute attention. The most important belief we must embed in our young through our interaction with them at home and school is best summed by the tagline of a popular commercial - ‘I am worth it!’