Thursday 27 April 2017

Raising Kids the Minimalistic Way

Remember the days when as children we would wait for our turn to be treated to at the toy store by our parents? Or eagerly await that book or dress we had expressed a wish to have as ours? That waiting period used to be so wrought with anxiety and joy. We wouldn’t really know if that toy or dress would make itself to us the next day or would take a few weeks or even a month – depending on our parents’ mood or perhaps our behaviour or the occasion. Well.. Cut to the present and children as young as four browse through apps and place orders about their favourite toys as parents watch on, grinning sheepishly perhaps also adoring their technological skills.

But, aren’t we missing a point? That waiting period is gone. Children even know the exact date their parcel is getting delivered! It need not be earned. It is more of a sense of entitlement. There are cupboards filled with clothes and toys – some not used ever – but nevertheless stuffed in; what if perhaps the child just decided to use it? We are so consumed in terms of keeping our children occupied by giving them everything they want, they are hardly bored. And when they do get bored, it becomes a nightmare for the parent! Actually, we cannot be blaming anyone for this. Children learn a lot from us. And if there is any truth it is that we are only been driven to want more and more and hence procure more and more. However, do we NEED it? Children now only know instant gratification since these are the time of instant gratification. Patience is dwindling as our options keep increasing.

This is where an increasing number of people are resorting to a minimalistic way of living. Minimalism is gradually being adopted by more and more people as a way of life. And I have begun seeing a major impact on my life too by following some basic tenets. For the uninitiated, minimalism, at its core, is placing focus on the things we value more rather than just want and removing everything that keeps us away from it. Any pursuit is entirely driven from a keen intent rather than a passing whim. So, while most of us may relate to it in terms of perhaps decluttering wardrobe, using perhaps one or two handbags instead of owning five-six different ones or having just one sweatshirt, etc. the idea is to be aware of the intent behind every action and then act accordingly. The key is to live simply, not boringly.

This is a time when we must introduce to our children the minimalistic way of living one day at a time. It is guaranteed to not only bring the family closer but also an important stepping stone to live more contently. Here are a few ways you can inculcate minimalism with children –

1.      Reserve special treats for special occasions – A birthday, an achievement, a milestone.. Reserve these days for gifting your child what s/he desires. This way, the child will not only cherish the possession due to the wait, it will enable him/her understand how to distinguish between what he truly desires and what is perhaps a passing whim.

2.      Experience matters  -  Switch off  the TV, the gadgets and gather experiences. It is simple - value experiences, activities over accumulation of toys or gadgets. Get together for family challenges or to celebrate a tradition.

3.      Declutter – Can you spot clothes that your child hasn’t worn for months on end and you know he probably never will? Or how about that toy he never took to? Declutter by giving it away to people who need it!

4.      Generosity – Keep a giving away day say once a fortnight where the family can accumulate stuff that they no longer need and visit an orphanage or a rehabilitation home nearby. Give and help your child see the joy in giving.

5.      Living simply – Living minimalistic doesn’t mean boring. On the contrary, it means living more purposefully, being aware of the intent. The simplest joys of life lies in doing the things you love by being present. So, be more present.

We aren’t what we have and neither are we defined by our possessions. Now is the time, perhaps more than ever before that minimalism is essential for our kids. So that in the future, they are in control of what consumes them rather than consuming things that control them!