Sailing Through Tides High and Low!

Being a Naval Captain’s wife, I have had more than my fair share of traversing through choppy tides and enjoying the calmness of the sea. Life, as we all come to experience, is much like this. A couple of weeks ago, an old friend called to congratulate me for the launching of our second Kangaroo Kids preschool franchisee, at Lokhandwala. We go back quite a number of years and we have always shared our trials and tribulations over cups of coffee. I was pleased to know that she was doing pretty well for herself too. As we filled each other details of other lovely developments, we reminisced about the times, coincidentally, years ago, when we were both somewhat at a standstill in terms of our respective careers.

The only thing that was constant was a strong underlying sense of purpose – to create spaces that foster meaningful education. Starting off something entirely on one’s own needs tremendous courage also since self-doubt plagues you at many junctures. Most of the times, you are your best counsel. There aren’t any shortcuts and no readymade answers. But, I have come to experience that when your mind is still, answers come through. The thing is to believe in oneself and get up after each fall and prepare for that marathon, again. Even when it is about taking one single step at a time, do so, and believe that things will fall in place.

Optimism is contagious and is critical if you are fostering a team, aiming to reach a common goal – without, you know… shortcuts. It is especially difficult when one is consumed by doubts which are also very normal. The second third time when you are faced with challenges is when you know that you must focus and what you can perhaps eliminate. Apart from knowing your challenges one needs to work around them. Making people believe in your vision and journey also is not hard but it route is longer, so it is important to not lose your passion. It is a life-long journey of taking like-minded people along with you and creating a repository of shared values and sharing your life and work. Inculcating an empowering environment infused with fun, humour - that is how great organisations are made. Schools are no different. In fact, it matters even more to create a culture of respect, value and a passionate commitment to serve your stakeholder/customer. In education of course, our biggest stakeholder is our children.

Notwithstanding our biggest achievement of being adjudged as among the top three preschools in the city by the reputed C-Fore Education World Survey 2016, in just under four years of operations, when a parent walks up to you and says that this schools has a soul which is why children thrive here… That feeling is unparalleled. We live by celebrating the smallest achievements of our children. So, when a two year old begins eating his own chapatti, vegetables and fruits on his own, lays his own mat, says his prayers and clears his table that brings a joy like no other.

Celebrate smallest joys with élan!  It will change your life. In fact, even with my friend, as we discussed our experiences about the one thing which helped us, it was this – an unwavering sense of gratitude. We weren’t really surprised at all to find out that it was that had helped us stay afloat when tides were turned against us, so to speak. I have had plenty of people and friends share their experience of staying positive and grateful for the smallest of blessings and it has worked wonders. It did so for me too when the tides got rough and lo and behold, it did turn!  

“Give thanks for a little and you will find a lot.” — The Hausa of Nigeria

Raising Kids the Minimalistic Way

Remember the days when as children we would wait for our turn to be treated to at the toy store by our parents? Or eagerly await that book or dress we had expressed a wish to have as ours? That waiting period used to be so wrought with anxiety and joy. We wouldn’t really know if that toy or dress would make itself to us the next day or would take a few weeks or even a month – depending on our parents’ mood or perhaps our behaviour or the occasion. Well.. Cut to the present and children as young as four browse through apps and place orders about their favourite toys as parents watch on, grinning sheepishly perhaps also adoring their technological skills.

But, aren’t we missing a point? That waiting period is gone. Children even know the exact date their parcel is getting delivered! It need not be earned. It is more of a sense of entitlement. There are cupboards filled with clothes and toys – some not used ever – but nevertheless stuffed in; what if perhaps the child just decided to use it? We are so consumed in terms of keeping our children occupied by giving them everything they want, they are hardly bored. And when they do get bored, it becomes a nightmare for the parent! Actually, we cannot be blaming anyone for this. Children learn a lot from us. And if there is any truth it is that we are only been driven to want more and more and hence procure more and more. However, do we NEED it? Children now only know instant gratification since these are the time of instant gratification. Patience is dwindling as our options keep increasing.

This is where an increasing number of people are resorting to a minimalistic way of living. Minimalism is gradually being adopted by more and more people as a way of life. And I have begun seeing a major impact on my life too by following some basic tenets. For the uninitiated, minimalism, at its core, is placing focus on the things we value more rather than just want and removing everything that keeps us away from it. Any pursuit is entirely driven from a keen intent rather than a passing whim. So, while most of us may relate to it in terms of perhaps decluttering wardrobe, using perhaps one or two handbags instead of owning five-six different ones or having just one sweatshirt, etc. the idea is to be aware of the intent behind every action and then act accordingly. The key is to live simply, not boringly.

This is a time when we must introduce to our children the minimalistic way of living one day at a time. It is guaranteed to not only bring the family closer but also an important stepping stone to live more contently. Here are a few ways you can inculcate minimalism with children –

1.      Reserve special treats for special occasions – A birthday, an achievement, a milestone.. Reserve these days for gifting your child what s/he desires. This way, the child will not only cherish the possession due to the wait, it will enable him/her understand how to distinguish between what he truly desires and what is perhaps a passing whim.

2.      Experience matters  -  Switch off  the TV, the gadgets and gather experiences. It is simple - value experiences, activities over accumulation of toys or gadgets. Get together for family challenges or to celebrate a tradition.

3.      Declutter – Can you spot clothes that your child hasn’t worn for months on end and you know he probably never will? Or how about that toy he never took to? Declutter by giving it away to people who need it!

4.      Generosity – Keep a giving away day say once a fortnight where the family can accumulate stuff that they no longer need and visit an orphanage or a rehabilitation home nearby. Give and help your child see the joy in giving.

5.      Living simply – Living minimalistic doesn’t mean boring. On the contrary, it means living more purposefully, being aware of the intent. The simplest joys of life lies in doing the things you love by being present. So, be more present.

We aren’t what we have and neither are we defined by our possessions. Now is the time, perhaps more than ever before that minimalism is essential for our kids. So that in the future, they are in control of what consumes them rather than consuming things that control them!

When 1 + 1 = 11

Want to gauge the power of a book? Gift it to someone for whom it is a luxury and marvel at the wondrous excitement that bubbles forth. Especially a child. We recently conducted a book drive at Billabong High International School, Santacruz on the lines of the theme of our concert - ‘Power of One’. Our students thought it would be a wonderful idea to donate books - across genres - to children who don’t have access to such a basic necessity. Inspired and celebrating the spirit of the child hero Brandon Keefe, who in 1991 had initiated a book donation drive and made it into a nationwide movement in the U.S.

The book drive in our school with the interact club brought a million smiles on the faces of 600 students and 40 teachers of Chinchale Ashramshala (3,000 books donated) a municipal village school in Dahanu, Vile Parle West Municipal School (200 books donated)and Eklavya Balwadi run by Sona Sarovar Trust.  Through our PTA members, and active student campaigning, we were able to collect  3,200 books in English/Hindi fiction, textbooks, dictionaries, color books for 5-14 years and stationery which was given to Eklavya Balwadi. Perhaps, one of the most striking moments is when the principal of the Vile Parle school, Roasrio Sir  thanked our students efforts and mentioned that the school will now have a library. It was so moving that tears welled up the eyes of our children too.  The Ashramalaya library was inaugurated last week and we are told that the children can’t seem to stop beaming about it. (any other feedback shared by principal).

As most know, municipal schools in our country are riddled with day-to-day challenges in terms of lack of teachers,  teacher absenteeism, lack of special educators, poor infrastructure etc. Can one imagine though how it would be to go to a school without books? Sadly, this is one of the starkest realities in municipal and public schools in India. In February, a media report highlighted how until the end of the last academic session, students in a Delhi Municipal school had not got any books. It was only after a petition was moved by a student of an East Delhi Municipal Corporation school in the high court that the civic authorities woke up to the grim reality.

If such apathy continues where students need to sprawl around school corridors to be accommodated and not even be provided with stationery and books, how then do we plan to improve child literacy across the country? Can the importance of books in imparting knowledge be emphasized any more in a country that they say is on threshold of becoming an economic superpower? How can anyone really buy that growth story when there are children who crave to lay their hands on a book, and worse still, not even know how to read one.

What if each private school adopted a municipal or public school nearby and donated certain essentials/resources to it? Why blame the government alone? I am proud to share that the idea of conducting a book-donation drive was recommended by our students! Surely we as educators can come together and commit to do our best to promote and establish 100%child literacy in the country. The Power of One is a marvelous thing. A single germane idea or inspired thought can influence hundreds and thousands. Towards the end of an academic year, we were humbled by the thoughtfulness of our students and the little sparks of brilliance waiting to be tapped and set free upon discovery. There is great power in One and in its Collaboration!

‘Board’ to the Point of Tears..

Ask any parent to recount the most nerve-wrecking experience of their lives.  Apart from undergoing the agony of  securing an admission for their child into a good school, arriving at a decision to choose the school board, should top the charts. Not until long ago, choices were fairly straight forward; most of the parents would just enroll their children in a nearby school, which would most often be a state-board and a fraction of people opting for CBSE (mostly in north India) and fewer still would opt for CISCE. 

Slowly, as disposable incomes rose, private schooling started gaining popularity, and with it rose the popularity of CISCE, CBSE and also international school boards - IGCSE, IB. As schools began segregating methodologies as early on as Grade 1, the pressure to opt for the ‘best’ board for the child became perhaps the most important decision a parent had to take. Mind you - trying to gauge the potential of a five-year old or predicting his/her aptitude for what he would be ten years hence should definitely come with superhuman powers. 

While the paranoia is understandable given the competitiveness that exists now and the plethora of options has ironically only compounded to the confusion, it is imperative parents realize that ultimately, choice of a board doesn’t matter much, not at Grade 1 at least, when a child is still to be encouraged to actively explore and discover his surroundings at his pace. Much has been written about the various pros and cons of every board, so I will not delve into it in this post. However, here are my thoughts that I share with parents who seek my opinion on the matter - 

1. Focus on holistic development of child. It would be best to not harbor hopes of making your preschooler a doctor or a surgeon or an engineer. The world is opening up in far more ways we can imagine. Do not try to cloud your child’s potential with your limited perspective and understanding of a field. Needless to say that learning should be holistic to be complete. Apart from academics, sports, performing arts should be given good if not equal weightage and hence there should be a variety of options until grade 4 where a child starts getting inclined to specific interests. That doesn’t mean however that one enrolls their children in hundred different classes to tap their potential. But a child must be empowered to make a choice after a certain age.   

2. Boards aren’t set in stone! Guess what? You could always change from one board to another comfortably up to say Grade 7. Post that, with a little bit of extra coaching and guidance a child should do well to adapt to the curriculum. What needs to be encouraged is the process of learning that s/he is used to. For e.g., if a child has mostly relied on rote learning, then yes, shifting to an international curriculum could definitely bring a fair share of hiccups, since it delves more on discovery, questioning and assessment. However, if the process of learning has focused on the learner then it shouldn’t be a problem. Also, one must focus on choices that are going to be sustainable and consistent and that have a proven track record in being so - and by that it doesn't mean which board produces maximum number of toppers. It means opting for a fair, balanced and consistent framework. Far too many changes at a policy level only stresses the child and leads to the confusion. It is unfortunate that our education system is still grappling with rigid frameworks and sloppy processes leading to ad-hoc changes and complete mismanagement. 

3. In the long run, the board doesn’t matter as much as tapping the child’s aptitude and also the way the curriculum is disseminated in the school for deriving success. Every board comes with its pros and cons and in a way is crafted as per various learning styles. It may get impossible to predict which board will suit your child’s aptitude. But it is a no-brainer that in this 21st century world, one must opt for a board that emphasizes on critical thinking, continuous learning, innovative assignments and self learning and discovery. This is important since in the future, the present skills and knowledge are going to be extremely redundant. The world over, holistic development and teaching of life skills is gaining predominance. Having said that, a board alone can’t manufacture geniuses or achievers. 

Choosing a board doesn’t guarantee your child will turn into a rocket scientist or an artist. History is replete of plenty of achievers attending modest public schools in obscure villages of the country, some even not having had access to good formal education and some even dropping out of prestigious institutions going on to be acknowledged as top achievers. So, relax. Breathe. And opt for what you think is the best option you can give you child. You could always change the board later on, as and when the child starts developing clear interests and aptitude. If there is a magic keyword, it is this - Love - Love for learning; if a child has developed a lifelong love for learning, that is more than half the battle won.

Cyberbullying - Curbing its tentacles

Late January this year, the Telstra Foundation announced it had provided a $400,000 social innovation grant to a youth-led movement against bullying known as Project Rockit. The project engages Australian school students between 7-9 years in learning and understanding the issues of bullying, cyber safety and leadership. Personally, I see this as an extremely encouraging development given the regular number of cyberbullying cases sprouting in schools/institutes globally. A McAfee survey in 2014 concluded that the number of school children in London being bullied on the internet has doubled in the past year, with more than one in three victims.

India is no exception. Some weeks back when I was rushed into a closed door meeting to tackle one such instance. A couple of students had made a fake Instagram account of a classmate and sent across messages to other classmates and a student from another school. The students involved and their parents were spoken to. The police officer of the area police station, investigated the matter and addressed the students and the parents in the presence of the principal, making them aware of the detrimental impact of such an involvement.

The advent of technology has not only shifted children out of playgrounds to their living rooms with their gadgets but with it, bullying too has shifted from playgrounds to the virtual world!  In fact, the ‘viral’ nature of cyberbullying makes it so much more convenient and simple to send humiliating texts, pictures, videos while still remaining anonymous. Cyberbullying occurs when children lose sight of the consequences. They fail to think that sending messages which they see as “just messing” or “joking” is actually a form of bullying, and don’t understand how it can hurt and emotionally uproot a person.

Internet anonymity empowers the perpetrators to believe they will not be known and traced as they see the internet as not a real world. As with traditional bullying, pressure from friends can be a trigger for cyberbullying too or a mere act to appear cool or have some fun at the expense of another. In more serious cases, it entails receiving threats that can seriously dent the self-esteem and emotional health of a child.

This brings us to an important question. How prepared are we as custodians of our children to tackle this? Clearly, any step needs to be tailored in congruence with an empathetic and sensitive approach for both the bully and the victim. Remember, children may not want to let you know that they are victims of bullying due to embarrassment or fearing intrusion on their personal space. Teachers and parents both must keep a vigil over any sudden behavioural change or attitudinal shifts.

At our school we are creating awareness among students about

- Their rights and responsibilities online.

- Making sure they are aware that the internet is not a ‘private’ place.

- Advocating the positive use of technology.

- Promoting good netiquette and personal safety issues.

- Inculcating a “telling” atmosphere – so that their peers will report cyberbullying, publicise different ways of reporting cyberbullying to give confidence to bystanders.

- Anti-bullying policies will be set which will be constantly updated and amended to deal with cyberbullying as it evolves.

Some of the ways parents can help tackling cyberbullying are -

1.    Choosing battles wisely: It’s best to not engage with unpleasantness or vile behaviour; it is what bullies target for. However, limits definitely need to be set for taking stern action against the perpetrator.

2.    Privacy settings – Block the bully or any unknown numbers from contacting on child’s phone. Consider logging off altogether if the app or messenger only seems to distract your child, for a couple of months.

3.    Report fake profiles/information – Report any occurrences of fake profiles and indecent pages to the website as well as the cybersecurity cell.  

4.    Trust your child – It won’t be easy for them to come out and admit something to you, so don’t judge them.

5.    Listen – This is the most undervalued skills but one that can give an idea about the state of the mind of the child either bullying or getting bullied.

 Our students are being encouraged to make friends and promote a positive and supportive atmosphere in the school which will ensure that cyberbullying or any form of bullying does not thrive.  Forbidding technology is definitely not the solution but to guide the students from making choices responsibly. What worked for us undoubtedly is the bringing together of the parent, the management and the law on the same platform to address the children together. This should be a combined body working as a unit to empower the students to make each of their voices heard. 

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